The Dream Reborn

Today is Christmas and to me it feels like just a regular day. I lost my holiday spirit back in 2003 when I moved to New York. In 2006 I felt a hint of the old holiday spirit seeping back into my body only to have it snuffed out with the murder of my close friend a few days before Christmas day. Maybe it's because I expect perfection at this time of year that all the imperfections shine through so brightly. Maybe I expect too much from the world.

New Year's resolutions? I never really have any, because I expect everything to fail when I set my mind to it because I have a history of "overthinking" and making "a science project out of everything". This year though, I have one resolution; to finally be able again, to say that I am from Trinidad and Tobago and I am proud of it. Just like my Christmas spirit, my national pride has been M.I.A. since 2003.

I just skimmed through a Trinidad & Tobago news website and read about a grandmother who was mauled to death by her own dogs. Dogs that she had, to protect her and her family from thieves and murderers trying to get on her property. The reasons stories like this pop out at me is because they didn't have to happen. The current murder toll in Trinidad & Tobago right now is a record 542. The country's population barely exceeds 1 million people so this is extremely high. We have teenagers raiding house parties and holding people up at gunpoint to make a living, and since life has no value to these people, they pull the trigger even if they get what they came for. This is not the Trinidad & Tobago I remember growing up in and is certainly not a place I would like to visit.

Another New Years resolution I have, which should probably be added to the previous one, is for Trinidadians and Tobagonians to start using their brains. I have come across way too many of my people on social networking websites and in real life who are only concerned with partying their lives away. I've also come across way too many of my people who criticise me for criticising the nonsense taking place in our country. I hope that the New Year will also bring maturity to these people. I could only hope. The rest is up to them.